Friday, July 11, 2008
The Turkey Whisperer
Living on a small farm with 5 hungry mouths to feed three times a day makes for some stressful times for Big Jo Bumphus. While he works twelve hour days at the family business, it does not often pay the bills or feed the hunger that grumbles in side each Bumphus' boiler. So the chickens provided the dinner table with their eggs and often their bodies.
Of course, the hens were not the target of the Bumphus Butcher. It was all the little fryer chicks that would end up on the plate and eventually the septic tank.
During the week, every week, it was Lil' Jo's daily chore routine to feed all the barnyard critters and keep their water clean. Pretty standard stuff on the farm. What was not in his standard routine was soon to become a Lil' Jo legend that is still talked about today.
One day Lil' Jo was taken by surprise when 50 chicken giraffes appeared in one of the chicken houses' rooms. Lil' Jo asked his dad, "What kinda chickens are these?" Red bald heads, tiny chin flaps and a cackle that went "Gobble." It sounded and looked like the lady across the canal from the farm. "They not chickens you big dummy." A reference to one of his favorite t.v. shows; Sanford and Son, "They are turkeys." Lil Jo thought that it would be Thanksgiving everyday after they were raised up and their heads bopped off and their feathers plucked. Boy oh boy, "some good eats there."
Well a few weeks into the "Turkey Experiment" Lil' Jo went out one morning to feed and water. What he found was a barnyard crime scene. Something that would never had been seen on Noah's Boat, and should never be witnessed by the faint of heart or a puky stomach. There were 5 little turkey bodies, or at least were once bodies, ripped apart and laying in the dirt. All of the surviving gobblers were huddled in the corner of the coup, as if this would protect them from whoever ran their butterball buddies over with a lawn mower.
Lil' Jo quickly determined that a cat had entered into what must have appeared to the cat to be a game show called; Gobble the Gobbler. Lil Jo informed his dad of the the terrible turkey disaster. In almost an instant, without even a blink of an eye or change of expression, his dad said,"I will put down a mattress and sleeping bag and you will sleep there every night until they are ready for their bopping."
" Sleeping with the turkeys" Lil' Jo responded in disbelief, and as a statement and not a question. Because there was no question. If Big Jo Bumphus said you were sleeping with turkeys, as sure as the lawn dies where the dog pees, you were sleeping with turkeys.
tbc..........
Of course, the hens were not the target of the Bumphus Butcher. It was all the little fryer chicks that would end up on the plate and eventually the septic tank.
During the week, every week, it was Lil' Jo's daily chore routine to feed all the barnyard critters and keep their water clean. Pretty standard stuff on the farm. What was not in his standard routine was soon to become a Lil' Jo legend that is still talked about today.
One day Lil' Jo was taken by surprise when 50 chicken giraffes appeared in one of the chicken houses' rooms. Lil' Jo asked his dad, "What kinda chickens are these?" Red bald heads, tiny chin flaps and a cackle that went "Gobble." It sounded and looked like the lady across the canal from the farm. "They not chickens you big dummy." A reference to one of his favorite t.v. shows; Sanford and Son, "They are turkeys." Lil Jo thought that it would be Thanksgiving everyday after they were raised up and their heads bopped off and their feathers plucked. Boy oh boy, "some good eats there."
Well a few weeks into the "Turkey Experiment" Lil' Jo went out one morning to feed and water. What he found was a barnyard crime scene. Something that would never had been seen on Noah's Boat, and should never be witnessed by the faint of heart or a puky stomach. There were 5 little turkey bodies, or at least were once bodies, ripped apart and laying in the dirt. All of the surviving gobblers were huddled in the corner of the coup, as if this would protect them from whoever ran their butterball buddies over with a lawn mower.
Lil' Jo quickly determined that a cat had entered into what must have appeared to the cat to be a game show called; Gobble the Gobbler. Lil Jo informed his dad of the the terrible turkey disaster. In almost an instant, without even a blink of an eye or change of expression, his dad said,"I will put down a mattress and sleeping bag and you will sleep there every night until they are ready for their bopping."
" Sleeping with the turkeys" Lil' Jo responded in disbelief, and as a statement and not a question. Because there was no question. If Big Jo Bumphus said you were sleeping with turkeys, as sure as the lawn dies where the dog pees, you were sleeping with turkeys.
tbc..........
The Simple Life of Lil' Jo Bumphus
Introduction:
Lil" Jo Bumphus as he is known to his family, lives on a farm with his feathery and hoofed cousins. The feathers belong to the cackling and crowing chickens, who spend their day, rain or shine, a pickn' and a scratchin' in the dirt. Looking for bugs and other tiny creepy crawlies that they can peck to pieces in order to fill their gut between feedings from Lil' Jo Bumphus.Lil' Jo Bumphus also likes his big cousins too. They see him heading for the barn and when spotted by Big Red, Little Red, Donna and her mom they all come a mooing and snorting knowing that the green bales of alfalfa will soon be given out by Lil' Jo Bumphus. The Herd sees Lil" Jo as their provider of nourishment and Lil' Jo sees them as four legged family who he would not trade for all the soda and Blow Pops in the world.
Lil' Jo is also blessed with a furry sidekick; Tina the St. Bernard/Labrador mutt. Though she is Lil' Jo's buddy, she was actually adopted into the Bumphus's Clan by Big Jo Bumphus. During the summer mornings and warm sunshine flowing afternoon, Lil' Jo and Tina are often found under the walnut tree; sipping Dr. Pepper and sharing licks on the apple flavored Blow-Pops. Though Lil" Jo and Tina are careful to never tell their dad or mom about the shared snacks.
During the weekend Tina is attached to Big Jo Bumphus' hip like yellow on a hillbilly's one good tooth. And having one good tooth is a good thing, because having two means more brushing time!
Big Jo' and Tina spend there day on small farm projects; mending fences, trimming trees, mowing lawns, yelling at Lil' Jo to grab the "Flathead" screwdriver or "Where is my hammer, Lil' Jo, I have told you to put my tools back when you are finished with them!" Be darned if Big Jo was right as always.
See, When Lil' Jo and Tina sit under the walnut tree all day, because Momma Bumphus makes him stay outside all day during the summer so she can clean and read the Grocery Store Romance books without distraction and smoke her Pal Mal's, Lil' Jo and Tina use the hammer to split the walnuts. Lil' Jo once let Tina crack them but got kinda tired of picking out the wet grass and dirt chunks from Tina's slobber, just to get to the food!
After Big Jo and Tina finished their daily chores it was time for what was really important to Big Jo......Ice cold beer and a pack or two of Camel's. The sound of the pop top popping and the smell of the smooth smoke was the official beginning of the weekend. If that picnic bench Big Jo sat at could talk it would have been a hired by the beer and tobacco companies as their public relations officer! Big Jo always said that "beer and smokes are the reward for the hard working man. And if it took multiple years off at the end of his life, that was his retirement package." He also was fond of the "Root hog or die" credo. "A man should always depend on himself and not the government", he would say. "There are two types of people in this world, those who care for themselves and those who want someone else to care for them. And I don't care for them people!" Stated Big Jo Bumphus. And he should know, he cared for all of the clan Bumphus'; Lil Sis Bumphus, Lil' Jo Bumphus, Bigger Sis Bumphus, even Bigger Sis' Bumphus and lastly Biggest Brother Chucky Dino Bumphus.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The Hive
This is another site I blog on. I am often a target of a few fellow bloggers who love to scream "bigot" "racist" "fascist" or whatever liberal babble they use when they know they can not defend their views logically or morally. As soon as these people see the word Christian or the topic of Illegal Immigration comes up they go into rabid attack mode. So I thought I would post a few of my responses here.
These two are in response to a blogger who devalues the worth of American citizenship.....and does it with a twinkle in his eye......
http://thehive.modbee.com/?q=node/8782
The point you are missing is that it makes no difference why someone breaks the law; when they do they become criminals. As for you deflecting the issue on to me when you say, "What would I do" is nothing more than admitting that you are wrong on this issue. In your mythical world, you would let anybody who comes here illegally stay. Says a lot about your character; but then again, you are a wanna be politician.
Ok, I will play along a bit. If I and my family were starving, would I leave them alone, a thousand miles away, break into another country, expect all the bells and whisltes of a legal citizen and cry racism when someone called me a criminal? The answer is NO. It is called morals and ethics and it seems some can not grasp the concept.
And I will have to agree with you...Mexico is not the USA!
Legal citizenship is something people have fought and died for and for citizenship to be granted to people who have come here illegally is like crapping on their headstones. Total disrespect to those heroes.
You are misguided when you say what I would or would not do. I know what I would do and so does the Lord and what anyone else believes is their business.
As for spoiled? Why, because I am a legal citizen who bust his hump, pays taxes only to see illegal aliens killing off my government's social services? Spoiled because when I was a 14yr old kid I worked in a field picking baby's breath for a few dollars a week? Or worked summers for my dad? Spoiled because I don't expect cradle to grave care from Uncle Sam? Spoiled because I expect people to respect the laws of the land?
And how do you know that "most" illegals are good people? We don't have any information on them when they get here. Check the jail and prison populations. 30% of state and federal prisons are populated with illegal aliens. And even the well intentioned, good people who come here illegally are criminals and do not belong here. It is blatant disrespect to people who do come here legally and even more disrespectful to legal citizens and those who have fought and died creating and protecting the USA. To not recognize this can only be some form of a mental illness.
These two are in response to a blogger who devalues the worth of American citizenship.....and does it with a twinkle in his eye......
http://thehive.modbee.com/?q=node/8782
The point you are missing is that it makes no difference why someone breaks the law; when they do they become criminals. As for you deflecting the issue on to me when you say, "What would I do" is nothing more than admitting that you are wrong on this issue. In your mythical world, you would let anybody who comes here illegally stay. Says a lot about your character; but then again, you are a wanna be politician.
Ok, I will play along a bit. If I and my family were starving, would I leave them alone, a thousand miles away, break into another country, expect all the bells and whisltes of a legal citizen and cry racism when someone called me a criminal? The answer is NO. It is called morals and ethics and it seems some can not grasp the concept.
And I will have to agree with you...Mexico is not the USA!
Legal citizenship is something people have fought and died for and for citizenship to be granted to people who have come here illegally is like crapping on their headstones. Total disrespect to those heroes.
You are misguided when you say what I would or would not do. I know what I would do and so does the Lord and what anyone else believes is their business.
As for spoiled? Why, because I am a legal citizen who bust his hump, pays taxes only to see illegal aliens killing off my government's social services? Spoiled because when I was a 14yr old kid I worked in a field picking baby's breath for a few dollars a week? Or worked summers for my dad? Spoiled because I don't expect cradle to grave care from Uncle Sam? Spoiled because I expect people to respect the laws of the land?
And how do you know that "most" illegals are good people? We don't have any information on them when they get here. Check the jail and prison populations. 30% of state and federal prisons are populated with illegal aliens. And even the well intentioned, good people who come here illegally are criminals and do not belong here. It is blatant disrespect to people who do come here legally and even more disrespectful to legal citizens and those who have fought and died creating and protecting the USA. To not recognize this can only be some form of a mental illness.
Robert E. Lee
This is a blog post from another site I post on. It is in response to some that don't realize the dep religous faith of some of our most notable historical figures.
This great man had a deep faith in Christ. I can understand how important his faith must have been to him......it was not random chance that he was the leader of the Confederate States.
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/leefoundation/Lee_Religious_Views.htm
Robert E. Lee prayed for the end of slavery:
"The doctrines and miracles of our Savior have required nearly two thousand years to convert but a small portion of the human race, and even among Christian nations what gross errors still exist! While we see the course of the final abolition of human slavery is still onward, and give it the aid of our prayers, let us leave the progress as well as the results in the hands of Him who, chooses to work by slow influences, and with whom a thousand years are but as a single day." Excerpts from Robert E. Lee's Letter to President Pierce prior to the War
Robert E. Lee had a Heart for the Non-believers in his University
One morning, while the venerable Dr. White was passing General Lee's house, on his way to chapel, the general joined him, and they entered into conversation upon religious subjects. General Lee said little, but, just as they reached the college, stopped and remarked with great earnestness, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke: "I shall be disappointed, sir, I shall fail in the leading object that brought me here, unless the young men all become real Christians; and I wish you and others of your sacred profession to do all you can to accomplish this result." from Part 8, Chapter 19 of "A LIFE OF GEN. ROBERT E. LEE." BY JOHN ESTEN COOKE
Robert E. Lee Loved his Enemies
"One day last autumn the writer saw General Lee standing at his gate, talking pleasantly to an humbly-clad man, who seemed very much pleased at the cordial courtesy of the great chieftain, and turned off, evidently delighted, as we came up. After exchanging salutations, the general said, pointing to the retreating form, 'That is one of our old soldiers, who is in necessitous circumstances.' I took it for granted that it was some veteran Confederate, when the noble-hearted chieftain quietly added, 'He fought on the other side, but we must not think of that.' I afterward ascertained--not from General Lee, for he never alluded to his charities--that he had not only spoken kindly to this 'old soldier' who had 'fought on the other side,' but had sent him on his way rejoicing in a liberal contribution to his necessities." from Part 8, Chapter 19 of "A LIFE OF GEN. ROBERT E. LEE." BY JOHN ESTEN COOKE
This great man had a deep faith in Christ. I can understand how important his faith must have been to him......it was not random chance that he was the leader of the Confederate States.
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/leefoundation/Lee_Religious_Views.htm
Robert E. Lee prayed for the end of slavery:
"The doctrines and miracles of our Savior have required nearly two thousand years to convert but a small portion of the human race, and even among Christian nations what gross errors still exist! While we see the course of the final abolition of human slavery is still onward, and give it the aid of our prayers, let us leave the progress as well as the results in the hands of Him who, chooses to work by slow influences, and with whom a thousand years are but as a single day." Excerpts from Robert E. Lee's Letter to President Pierce prior to the War
Robert E. Lee had a Heart for the Non-believers in his University
One morning, while the venerable Dr. White was passing General Lee's house, on his way to chapel, the general joined him, and they entered into conversation upon religious subjects. General Lee said little, but, just as they reached the college, stopped and remarked with great earnestness, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke: "I shall be disappointed, sir, I shall fail in the leading object that brought me here, unless the young men all become real Christians; and I wish you and others of your sacred profession to do all you can to accomplish this result." from Part 8, Chapter 19 of "A LIFE OF GEN. ROBERT E. LEE." BY JOHN ESTEN COOKE
Robert E. Lee Loved his Enemies
"One day last autumn the writer saw General Lee standing at his gate, talking pleasantly to an humbly-clad man, who seemed very much pleased at the cordial courtesy of the great chieftain, and turned off, evidently delighted, as we came up. After exchanging salutations, the general said, pointing to the retreating form, 'That is one of our old soldiers, who is in necessitous circumstances.' I took it for granted that it was some veteran Confederate, when the noble-hearted chieftain quietly added, 'He fought on the other side, but we must not think of that.' I afterward ascertained--not from General Lee, for he never alluded to his charities--that he had not only spoken kindly to this 'old soldier' who had 'fought on the other side,' but had sent him on his way rejoicing in a liberal contribution to his necessities." from Part 8, Chapter 19 of "A LIFE OF GEN. ROBERT E. LEE." BY JOHN ESTEN COOKE
Thursday, July 3, 2008
John Adam's Day of Fasting
It is hard to believe we as a nation have allowed some to push the nation so far from our Father. John Adam's was an amazing man who understood the importance of our nation's faith in our Creator.
http://millercenter.org/scripps/archive/speeches/detail/3942
Proclamation of Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer (March 23, 1798)John Adams
Transcript
As the safety and prosperity of nations ultimately and essentially depend on the protection and the blessing of Almighty God, and the national acknowledgment of this truth is not only an indispensable duty which the people owe to Him, but a duty whose natural influence is favorable to the promotion of that morality and piety without which social happiness can not exist nor the blessings of a free government be enjoyed; and as this duty, at all times incumbent, is so especially in seasons of difficulty or of danger, when existing or threatening calamities, the just judgments of God against prevalent iniquity, are a loud call to repentance and reformation; and as the United States of America are at present placed in a hazardous and afflictive situation by the unfriendly disposition, conduct, and demands of a foreign power, evinced by repeated refusals to receive our messengers of reconciliation and peace, by depredation on our commerce, and the infliction of injuries on very many of our fellow-citizens while engaged in their lawful business on the seas--under these considerations it has appeared to me that the duty of imploring the mercy and benediction of Heaven on our country demands at this time a special attention from its inhabitants.
I have therefore thought fit to recommend, and I do hereby recommend, that Wednesday, the 9th day of May next, be observed throughout the United States as a day of solemn humiliation, fasting, and prayer; that the citizens of these States, abstaining on that day from their customary worldly occupations, offer their devout addresses to the Father of Mercies agreeably to those forms or methods which they have severally adopted as the most suitable and becoming; that all religious congregations do, with the deepest humility, acknowledge before God the manifold sins and transgressions with which we are justly chargeable as individuals and as a nation, beseeching Him at the same time, of His infinite grace, through the Redeemer of the World, freely to remit all our offenses, and to incline us by His Holy Spirit to that sincere repentance and reformation which may afford us reason to hope for his inestimable favor and heavenly benediction; that it be made the subject of particular and earnest supplication that our country may be protected from all the dangers which threaten it; that our civil and religious privileges may be preserved inviolate and perpetuated to the latest generations; that our public councils and magistrates may be especially enlightened and directed at this critical period; that the American people may be united in those bonds of amity and mutual confidence and inspired with that vigor and fortitude by which they have in times past been so highly distinguished and by which they have obtained such invaluable advantages; that the health of the inhabitants of our land may be preserved, and their agriculture, commerce, fisheries, arts, and manufactures be blessed and prospered; that the principles of genuine piety and sound morality may influence the minds and govern the lives of every description of our citizens, and that the blessings of peace, freedom, and pure religion may be speedily extended to all the nations of the earth.
And finally, I recommend that on the said day the duties of humiliation and prayer be accompanied by fervent thanksgiving to the Bestower of Every Good Gift, not only for His having hitherto protected and preserved the people of these United States in the independent enjoyment of their religious and civil freedom, but also for having prospered them in a wonderful progress of population, and for conferring on them many and great favors conducive to the happiness and prosperity of a nation.
Given under my hand and the seal of the United States of America, at Philadelphia, this 23d day of March, A. D. 1798, and of the Independence of the said States the twenty-second.
JOHN ADAMS.
By the President:
TIMOTHY PICKERING,
Secretary of State.
http://millercenter.org/scripps/archive/speeches/detail/3942
Proclamation of Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer (March 23, 1798)John Adams
Transcript
As the safety and prosperity of nations ultimately and essentially depend on the protection and the blessing of Almighty God, and the national acknowledgment of this truth is not only an indispensable duty which the people owe to Him, but a duty whose natural influence is favorable to the promotion of that morality and piety without which social happiness can not exist nor the blessings of a free government be enjoyed; and as this duty, at all times incumbent, is so especially in seasons of difficulty or of danger, when existing or threatening calamities, the just judgments of God against prevalent iniquity, are a loud call to repentance and reformation; and as the United States of America are at present placed in a hazardous and afflictive situation by the unfriendly disposition, conduct, and demands of a foreign power, evinced by repeated refusals to receive our messengers of reconciliation and peace, by depredation on our commerce, and the infliction of injuries on very many of our fellow-citizens while engaged in their lawful business on the seas--under these considerations it has appeared to me that the duty of imploring the mercy and benediction of Heaven on our country demands at this time a special attention from its inhabitants.
I have therefore thought fit to recommend, and I do hereby recommend, that Wednesday, the 9th day of May next, be observed throughout the United States as a day of solemn humiliation, fasting, and prayer; that the citizens of these States, abstaining on that day from their customary worldly occupations, offer their devout addresses to the Father of Mercies agreeably to those forms or methods which they have severally adopted as the most suitable and becoming; that all religious congregations do, with the deepest humility, acknowledge before God the manifold sins and transgressions with which we are justly chargeable as individuals and as a nation, beseeching Him at the same time, of His infinite grace, through the Redeemer of the World, freely to remit all our offenses, and to incline us by His Holy Spirit to that sincere repentance and reformation which may afford us reason to hope for his inestimable favor and heavenly benediction; that it be made the subject of particular and earnest supplication that our country may be protected from all the dangers which threaten it; that our civil and religious privileges may be preserved inviolate and perpetuated to the latest generations; that our public councils and magistrates may be especially enlightened and directed at this critical period; that the American people may be united in those bonds of amity and mutual confidence and inspired with that vigor and fortitude by which they have in times past been so highly distinguished and by which they have obtained such invaluable advantages; that the health of the inhabitants of our land may be preserved, and their agriculture, commerce, fisheries, arts, and manufactures be blessed and prospered; that the principles of genuine piety and sound morality may influence the minds and govern the lives of every description of our citizens, and that the blessings of peace, freedom, and pure religion may be speedily extended to all the nations of the earth.
And finally, I recommend that on the said day the duties of humiliation and prayer be accompanied by fervent thanksgiving to the Bestower of Every Good Gift, not only for His having hitherto protected and preserved the people of these United States in the independent enjoyment of their religious and civil freedom, but also for having prospered them in a wonderful progress of population, and for conferring on them many and great favors conducive to the happiness and prosperity of a nation.
Given under my hand and the seal of the United States of America, at Philadelphia, this 23d day of March, A. D. 1798, and of the Independence of the said States the twenty-second.
JOHN ADAMS.
By the President:
TIMOTHY PICKERING,
Secretary of State.
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